What If

Marvin Gaye--"Mercy, Mercy Me (Lulu Rouge Remix) (mp3)

Round here, we've got people collecting boxes of spent batteries, blue trash bins for recycled paper, a fleet of ceramic mugs up by the teachers' coffee machine so that anyone in need of a cup of java can grab a mug and go and not have to use one of the styrofoam cups we used to stock by the case. It isn't much, perhaps, but it's something.

Out there, and the Bessie Smith Strut two days ago comes to mind, there are thousands of people (myself included, of course) drinking tens of thousands of beers and other drinks out of aluminum cans and plastic bottles, carrying thousands of styrofoam boxes and plates filled with ribs or barbecue, hot fish or tamales, and sending all of those drink and food containers straight into the trash.

We have to do something.

So here's a "what if." What if we just tackle fast food? What if we just tackle fast food drinks? What if we just tackle fast food drinks "to go."

Being able to get a drink "to go" should be a good thing. It gives you something to cool you off in a hot car. It gives you that extra cup of good coffee that will get you through a tough part of the morning. But it should be no more than one of the great conveniences of the modern world. It should be portable and properly-sized, reasonably unspillable and sturdy. But it doesn't need to end up on the side of a highway or in a trash dump somewhere.

So here's a "what if." What if all fast food to go cups were exactly the same size? The same standard shape? What if they all looked exactly the same? Do we really need all those different sizes? Do we really need to be able to order "The Bladder Buster?"

Sorry, Shrek. Sorry, Taco Bell. Sorry, Star Wars. Sorry, Coke. Coke. Coke.

Take a look at all of those stores in New York City selling coffee out of a standard paper cup. They seem to be doing fine without the advertising.

What if those uniform, non-descript, recycled or recyclable or both plastic cups were used as "to go" cups in every restaurant, fast food or even otherwise, in this country?

What if there were a system for turning one in and getting another one back that worked to the benefit of the consumer? What if when you pulled up to the drive through and returned the dirty cup already kicking around your car, you got a discount? What if your whole family of four had left their cups in the car kicking around and you turned them all back in? Maybe you'd get yours for free.

What if, when you were leaving a sit-down restaurant and asked for a "to go" cup, you had to pay a fee for that cup, to give it some value, to increase its chances of getting cycled back into the system? Of course, if you pulled the cup you already had out of your purse and handed that to your waiter or waitress, you'd get the new one free.

What if, on the front end, you only had to pay for one stinking, lousy plastic cup, but as long as you were part of the system and kept playing the game, that one purchase of a cup would serve you throughout all of these great United States?

All the fast food restaurants would be sharing, collecting, dispensing, washing, reusing the same massive set of plastic cups. Just like we do at home.

Nah, the more I think about it, the more it sounds like socialism to me. I want to protect my right to burn half of my Transformers cup with my lighter and float the rest of it down a creek. Nevermind.


By the way, the stripped-down remix of Marvin Gaye's "Mercy, Mercy Me" is really worth a listen. Even if you know this song intimately, you will hear it with fresh ears. The original version is available on What's Going On? available at Itunes.