The Who--"Cut My Hair" (mp3)
Setting: Friday lunch, I walk into the barbershop where one woman, Janey, cuts an older gentleman's hair. Ladonna, the owner, walks out from the back.
Ladonna: Do you need some help? Haven't seen you for a long time.Me: It has been a long time, you can tell from my hair. My daughter told me I had to come get it cut.
She puts the sheet over me, clips it at the neck and starts to spray my hair with water.
Janey: ...almost to Florida right now. I don't know if they can see the ocean yet. I know Mike's lookin' for it.
LaDonna: Much as he loves it down there, he ought to look for a job down there.
Janey: Well, he ain't gonna find one here.
LaDonna: Right now, you can get the Sinbad for $53 a night.
Janey: That's the rate I got. I usually pay $96. It's $20 more for the ocean view. I don't think it's worth it.
Me: It's a good time to go on vacation, if you can afford it.
Ladonna (to me): Well, I've got some things to do around the house. Used to be if you said "Florida," I'd jump in the car. I'm older now. I can't take the heat. And I'm twice the woman I used to be.
Janey and her customer begin to talk of other things besides Daytona Beach. I have been staring at the clumps of gray hair falling from Ladonna's scissors. In the mirror, that hair looks blond. Eventually, I tune in.
Janey: He's a Muslim.
Ladonna (calls over): He is a Muslim.
Older gentleman: He's a silver-tongued devil.
Janey: The thing I don't like, that Bush did and he's doing too is that they're over there trying to push the Jews off their land. Those are God's lands. You don't mess with those. He's going to find that out.Older gentleman: I don't like how he says that all religions are equal. They aren't.
Janey: No, they aren't.
Older gentleman: No, they are not.
Janey: I'll tell you what, I think we're living right now in the End Times.
Older gentleman: I don't even have to go home and pack up. I'm ready to go right now.
Janey: I think those of us living right now are in the Last Days. I hope today is the Last Day. There isn't a single thing on this Earth worth living for.
Older gentleman: I'm ready to go. I don't have to go pack anything.
Janey spin him to face the mirror so he can see his haircut.
Janey: There you go now, you're all finished.
She helps him out of the barber chair.
Janey: I need you to write your name in my book of customers to make it official.
Older gentleman: I don't write. My name's John Lucas.
Ladonna: (calls over) L-U-C-A-S.
Older gentleman: I can give you my phone number. It's 667-4723. Of course, it's 423.
Janey: Thank you. You be careful now. We'll see you next time.
Ladonna: Bye, Mr. Lucas.
Janey picks up her laptop. The phone rings. Ladonna answers it, says briefly, "I've got a customer right now," then turns it off and sets it down.
Ladonna: I thought it was an emergency; it was about shoes.
I stare at my gray hair, think about my own mortality and where I might get some lunch.
Leftover Salmon is available at Archive.org; Quadrophenia is available at Itunes.
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