The Third Song

Three is a Magic Number - Blind Melon (mp3)
International Bright Young Thing - Jesus Jones (mp3)

So you walk into one of those record stores where you can sample any album, but you're only allowed to sample one single song from any particular album. Which song to pick?

It's a no-brainer, really.

The third song is and should be the cornerstone for any modern album.

A vast majority of modern music albums are formed in a way similar to a baseball batting order. Your first song is the one you hope has the best chance of getting on base and making its way around. It's gotta be speedy and efficient. The second song aims to be a slightly beefier and slower version of the first. The third song is supposed to be the heart of your lineup. Yes, "3-4-5" is called "The Power Alley" because the fourth and fifth batters also need to be able to knock one out of the park, but almost all lineups place their best batter third to maximize the number of at-bats that dude can get in a game.

This entire analogy holds true for -- oh, let's say at least 75% of modern albums, at least those with any aspirations for "popular" success.

Don't get me wrong. Sometimes the third song strikes out. Sometimes it doesn't clear the bases like it should. It's not fool-proof. But when it comes to albums in the post-60s world, if you had to pick a single song that had the best chance of representing the entire album's hopes and intentions, you absolutely have to go with Song #3.

U2 - The Joshua Tree
Song #3: With or Without You
(This is perhaps the greatest baseball line-up album ever made)

Smashing Pumpkins - Siamese Dream
Song #3: Today

Hall + Oates - Private Eyes
Song #3: I Can't Go For That (No Can Do)

Rihanna - Good Girl Gone Bad
Song #3: Don't Stop the Music

Black Crowes - The Southern Harmony and Musical Companion
Song #3: Thorn in My Pride

Pearl Jam - Ten
Song #3: Alive

Bruce Springsteen - The Rising
Song #3: Waitin' on a Sunny Day

Radiohead - The Bends
Song #3: High and Dry

Oasis - What's the Story Morning Glory
Song #3: Wonderwall

Counting Crows - August and Everything After
Song #3: Mr. Jones

Aerosmith - Permanent Vacation
Song #3: Rag Doll

Queen - Jazz
Song #3: Jealously (comfortably snuggled between "Fat Bottomed Girls" and "Bicycle Race")
("Another One Bites the Dust" is the third song from The Game, proof that they'd become utter slaves to the pop album arrangement)

Go try it with your CD collection. If, um, you still have albums or CDs, that is. Any REM album. Dave Matthews Band's Crash. Tonic's Lemon Parade. Stereophonics, Rilo Kiley, Soul Asylum's Grave Dancer's Union, Tegan and Sara, Matthew Sweet, Taylor Swift, Spoon, Guns 'n' Roses' Appetite for Destruction. Even when the third song isn't their breakthrough hit, it's a song you like a lot if you like the album.

Its not a perfect science, I grant you. Just like some baseball teams do odd strategic things with their lineups, sometimes artists place their power hitters in different spots in the lineup. I mean, you look at Led Zeppelin IV, for instance, and it's next to impossible to find a problem with any possible lineup they could have arranged. "The Battle of Evermore" might not be the cornerstone of the album, but it's also not a bad test point. If for some reason you find that song not to your liking, then the overall album could be a bit of a chore.

If you don't have a good third song, it usually means you blew your musical wad on the first two songs, hoping to God people never actually listen to anything past those first two before they get home, having already wasted their cash to get an album that's only worth the first two songs.

Maybe none of this matters much in the 21st Century, when albums only exist in the sense that they have the same album title in your iTunes category, when even music lovers like myself, who buy entire albums far more often than I buy singles, still rarely if ever actually listens to an album all the way through without stopping.

But just like Grandpa Simpson, I'll stubbornly cling to my conviction about the power of that third song even when they've put me in a rest home and I have to crank the volume up to 11 just to hear it. It's a love story, baby, just say yes.

The Blind Melon song is from the collection of Schoolhouse Rock! covers. "IBYT" is the third song from Jesus Jones' 1991 album Doubt, an album that, while forgotten, still kicks butt.

Billy's Top 11 Albums of 2008: The Top Five (and a half)

Below are my top five (and a half).
Click here for 6-11.

5. The New Frontiers - Mending
"The Day We Fell Apart" (mp3)
The New Frontiers is Radiohead if Thom Yorke was from Texas. While this description probably insults both bands, I stick to it. Mending is a supremely chilled-out rock album with some country influences injected for good measure. I don't really like using the word "rock" because nothing in this album is particularly cutting or hard. It's more like a river rock, worn smooth from having sat on the bottom and endured heavy currents over time.

In fact, this is not my generally preferred style of music. It's far too relaxed. (I could say the same thing about Snow Patrol, for example, whose most recent album is good but failed to make my Top 10.) But this album penetrated my hunger for hooks and bombast with some great harmonies and a melancholy sweetness that I find tough to explain.

4. Girl Talk - Feed the Animals
One of my favorite mix CD bands of the 21st Century is The Go! Team. It's quite possible Girl Talk has surpassed them with this album. What the Go! Team does with retro sounds and muffled cheerleaders Girl Talk does with every damn song you've ever heard and another hundred or so you might not have.

This album is like the super-tough edition of a music trivia game, except it never stops, never slows down, and never comes across as anything less than fun.

The one knock I have is that, when all is said and done, the songs have no message, no meaning. There isn't some thematic or lyrical intent linking "Every Little Thing She Does is Magic" with a Busta Rhymes hit. He just mashed 'em 'cuz it sounded awesome. And it does. Sound awesome. It even sounds awesome several months after I first heard it, which is unexpected.

Sometimes, it's OK for music to mean little beyond bringing a smile to your face.

3. The Gaslight Anthem - The '59 Sound
"Meet Me by the River's Edge" (mp3)
Mix two parts Flesh for Lulu, two parts The Killers, and a sprinkling of Vigilantes of Love, and I'm pretty sure the resulting mixture would sound like The Gaslight Anthem. Reviews I've read of this band keep using the word "punk," which is a big head-scratcher for me. Was Flesh for Lulu "punk"? Does anyone beside me know who Flesh for Lulu even is?

Anyway, because I love Flesh for Lulu and enjoy what I've heard from Vigilantes of Love and, yes, have a weak spot in my heart for the first Killers album, the Gaslight Anthem's album just warms me to the bone. Several reviews use the dangerous word "Springsteen" when discussing this band, but other than both being from Jersey, I don't get it. Might as well use "Bon Jovi" in there, since it's equally ludicrous. The title track is sublime, but there's nary a weak moment in the bunch.

If this is punk, sign me up. (And you can sign up too, for cheap! This sucker is on sale at Amazon.com for $3.99.)

2. The Rescues - Crazy Ever After
I must confess a particular vulnerability to the story of The Rescues. You have three hungry singer-songwriters who don't quite seem to be making it on their own, and some serendipitous occasion brings them all into the same room, whereupon they decide to throw their fates into a single hat.

Either because they were all desperate enough or humble enough, or because they actually liked one another from the get-go, the resulting album is something greater than its parts, although I'm not quite sure of the genre's title under which their music falls. Indie Pop? Folk Pop?

Regardless, the music is often tender, sometimes leaking into sappy. Occasionally it's fun and light. Apparently their music is regular fodder for a variety of TV shows, but that's not how I found them, nor do I hold such a "crime" against them. What up-and-coming band would turn down "Grey's Anatomy" or any show for that matter? It's not in the same boat as selling your song for an ad.

1. Mates of State - Re-arrange Us
"Blue and Gold Print" (mp3)
I've already said what needs to be said about this album. Most of these songs could be used in old Scooby-Doo chase scenes when the meddling kids are running from the ghost du jour. Theirs is an acquired taste, and if their first single "Get Better" doesn't perk up your ears, then nothing on this album is likely to convert you. The good news is, you'll know with one song and one listen whether you're gonna like this band.

Some of their following, whose adoration and critiques I've read on other blogs, find this latest album a little too poppy, not quite as off-kilter as their previous work. Which is precisely why I find this new album to be their most compelling and endearing. They're dancing with the devil (contemporary pop) in the pale moonlight, but it never feels like they're selling out or moving away from the music they love to make.

Plus they have their own cool-as-hell blog (Band on the Diaper Run), which just makes someone like me like them even more. ABC News even ran a story on them, 'cuz they're just that damn cool.

0. The Format - Dog Problems
"Inches and Falling (I Love Love)" (mp3) -- previously posted
This is #1 with a Bullet (point) because it technically is cheating. Dog Problems was released in 2006, which by even the wackiest of standards is too long ago to be considered the Best Album of 2008. However, I'd never heard of these dudes 'til March of this year, so they were totally new to me. And this is my list, dammit. So I'm putting them at #1.

This album is an alternative pop carnival of break-up songs, and I mean each and every word of that description. "Alternative" because Nate Ruess' voice will never be confused for David Cook or someone who could have even made the first cut on American Idol. "Pop" because these dudes can craft a sticky hook like nobody's business. "Carnival" because several of the songs quite intentionally convey that feel. Much like clowns can amuse or sometimes scare the shit out of people, Dog Problems can sound on the surface like a Funhouse album when it's actually more of a Horror House of Mirrors with some amusing makeup. "Break-up songs" because the dude can't get over it. I mean, at least half of U.S. states would arrest this guy for obsessing over whoever it was that stomped his heart flat.

I'd start breaking down individual songs, but the truth is, the reason this tops my list is because it's the most cohesive and consistently strong collection of songs on an album I bought this year. The only weaknesses are the first and last songs, which serve more as a way to allow the listener to slowly enter and exit this Format carnivale without getting the bends.

Billy's Top Eleven Albums of 2008: Six Through Eleven

So let's just cut the crapola and get started, shall we?

11. Will Hoge - Draw the Curtains*
Any gifted musician who depends on constant and impassioned touring to make money and is involved in a near-fatal scooter accident that results in his touring being ground to a halt as he rehabilitates himself back to some modicum of health is automatically given a 3-month bonus period for consideration on this list. (* -- Hoge's album came out in late 2007, but I didn't buy it until January, after I'd received all my gift cards for Christmas.)

Those who know me know I have an irrationally soft spot in my heart for this guy, because he frequently stops in at The 'Noog, and because his performance is clearly modeled after The Boss in that every minute he's on stage, Hoge knows he's working, and he desperately wants to give his audience their money's worth and have fun doing it.

After almost a year of this album remaining on fairly heavy rotation, I'm comfortable claiming it is his best album. Although Draw the Curtains does not have any of my three favorite Hoge songs, it definitely has four of the top 10 and is his strongest collection from start to finish.

10. The Hold Steady - Stay Positive
Magazines (mp3)
I've been dangling off the back of the Hold Steady's bandwagon since 2005, when I picked up Separation Sunday on an out-of-town trip on something of an inspired whim. Their music is consistently praiseworthy and manages to feel simultaneously original and ripped straight from an E Street Band jam session.

While most critics claim Stay Positive is the band's strongest effort yet -- and while it's possible those critics are correct -- I've found myself a little bit numbed to their charm after so much heavy rotation. The Hold Steady is, for me, a band best served in 20-minute increments. They are a wonderful change of pace for me, but not a great main course.

So, while Stay Positive might truly be better than Boys and Girls in America, I would undoubtedly have ranked the latter one higher on my list in 2006. The band seemed fresher to me back then. Now? It's still plenty brilliant, but less fresh. Like Springsteen's post-concert T-shirts.

9. Paul Westerberg - 49:00
With my mind on my money and my money on my mind, Paul Westerberg's 2008 release was the best bang for your buck. The $0.49 download from Amazon.com (no longer available) provided a 44-minute mp3 file containing 10-12 bona fide songs interspersed with random sound garbles and glimpses of cover songs.

It is messy, and it is imperfect. But for half the price of one Britney Spears song, you could hear an entire album from a man who is still madly talented and can turn a clever and occasionally brilliant lyrical phrase with minimal effort. It makes the list based on value, plain and simple.

8. Keane - Perfect Symmetry
Again + Again (mp3) -- Removed lest I inspire people to purchase Keane's albums, thus infuriating their lawyers

To say I hated Under the Iron Sea would be a slight exaggeration, 'cuz I didn't hate it. But I sure as hell didn't like it very much. It was a colossally disappointing sophomore album in an era where sophomore albums seem almost destined to disappoint. So I didn't remotely expect to like this new one. Didn't even plan on buying it, really, but I overheard it playing in a record store and, not knowing what it was, found myself listening intently.

Perfect Symmetry is pretty cut-and-dried Brit Pop, full of hand claps and synth-overdose. I feel a little more James when listening to this one, although in the first 20 seconds of the opening song, if you aren't thinking about The Human League, your ears aren't working properly. Yet, for all of this negative-seeming commentary, I keep listening. This album is more enjoyable from start to finish than either of their previous efforts and is darn tasty pop music.

7. The Heavy - Great Vengeance and Furious Fire
The Heavy is never going to be accused of mining new territory, musically speaking. Their style is a mesh of various influences, although most swim in the '70s with Sly and some other funk-rockers of the era. But the sound is decidedly updated, with some grunge and '90s rock noise thrown into the stew. Their subject matter is the stuff of timeless inspiration: getting laid, having fun, drinking, and getting laid some more. But anyone who tires of such topics should stick to Barry Manilow or Charlotte Church.

The last time I remember being this surprised at how much I enjoyed a throw-back album was when I discovered the debut Black Crowes album months before they ever dented the cultural/MTV conscience. No one ever accused the Robinsons of being particularly original.

Great Vengeance... is certainly not flawless, and I'm always fascinated when a band chooses to open up with some atmospheric or moody piece that has almost nothing to do with the rest of the album and doesn't even stand very well on its own, but there's enough strength in the collection to merit mention on this list.

6. I Nine - Heavy Weighs the King
Alive (mp3)
The harsh critic would say that this band hopped on the Avril Lavigne Clone Train and headed for the metropolis of Wannabe. And, if you don't listen past the first two songs, I guess that would be a jaded yet defensible claim. But if you listen to the entire album, you will hear an expression of nascent rock/pop talent that is searching for itself, strangely preoccupied with space and some oddball literary references, and capable of kicking some musical ass.

This band earned a recording contract because Cameron Crowe "discovered" them and put them on his Elizabethtown soundtrack. But where the song on that soundtrack leaned more country-rock, their debut album is pure-on rawk, full of energy and exuberance and, occasionally, teen angst. Which is a good thing, particularly to those of us who work with teenagers every day.

Based on how often I've listened to it, this was easily my favorite pure pop rock album of the year, but there's just enough Avril in the lead singer's voice that I'm hesitant to openly admit it. Which is a shame, 'cuz she can belt out some serious tunes.

These albums can be found on iTunes and Amazon.com's mp3 site.